留學(xué)文書寫作方法之幽默

谷約

幽默（humor）原本是一個(gè)外來詞，最早由林語堂先生譯成中文。其實(shí)，漢語中早就有類似的詞匯，如“詼諧”“滑稽”“搞笑”等，但它們卻與幽默有著本質(zhì)的區(qū)別。相對(duì)后三者而言，幽默層次較高，在令人開懷大笑或者莞爾一笑的同時(shí)，還能給人玩味和思考的空間。比如周星馳的電影里有很多橋段會(huì)讓人笑到噴飯，但那屬于搞笑的范疇。在馮小剛新片《私人定制》里，范偉從自信滿滿地發(fā)問“當(dāng)個(gè)清官很難嗎？”到一臉哭喪地檢討“雖然還是做到了拒絕貪污受賄，但卻沒能防住別有用心的屬下對(duì)我身體上格外的關(guān)心”，整個(gè)過程帶給觀眾的思考遠(yuǎn)比表面上的嬉鬧深刻，這就是幽默。

自嘲是另一種形式的幽默。操著一口東北腔的英文在美國(guó)表演脫口秀的黃西（Joe Wong）說他的小孩現(xiàn)在很可愛，可剛出生時(shí)卻非常丑。那時(shí)他把嬰兒抱在懷里，正在琢磨家里哪個(gè)親戚把“丑”的基因遺傳給了他的孩子，一個(gè)接生護(hù)士跑過來指著小孩對(duì)黃西說：“這小孩怎么這么像你！”黃西講這個(gè)故事就是在自嘲。

美國(guó)總統(tǒng)往往都是幽默的高手。前總統(tǒng)小布什是歷屆總統(tǒng)里最不善言辭的，但也幽默感十足，他在耶魯大學(xué)2001年畢業(yè)典禮上的演說把自嘲發(fā)揮到了極致。比如：“To those of you who received honors， awards， and distinctions， I say， well done. And to the C students I say， you， too， can be president of the United States.”在這段演講中，小布什嘲諷自己當(dāng)初在耶魯讀書時(shí)充其量是勉強(qiáng)及格的學(xué)生，是拿C而不是A或B的。又如：“I took a class that studied Japanese haiku. Haiku， for the uninitiated， is a 15th-century form of poetry， each poem having 17 syllables. Haiku is fully understood only by the Zen masters. As I recall， one of my academic advisers was worried about my selection of such a specialized course. He said I should focus on English. I still hear that quite often.”在這段演講中，小布什提到上大學(xué)時(shí)他選修了一門日本俳句課程，老師非常不解，建議他還是把精力放在英文上，言下之意是你的母語都沒學(xué)好，還異想天開學(xué)日語。之后，小布什接著拿自己開玩笑，自嘲即使到現(xiàn)在自己的母語仍舊沒學(xué)好，因?yàn)樗?dāng)了總統(tǒng)后還是有人建議他好好學(xué)英文。他的演講簡(jiǎn)直讓人忍俊不禁，這就是幽默的魅力。

在前幾期中，筆者曾談到過，對(duì)于申請(qǐng)者來說，留學(xué)文書不是自我表揚(yáng)，也不是學(xué)術(shù)論文，而是向招生官展示自己的個(gè)性、能力和風(fēng)采的“廣告”。鑒于美國(guó)文化崇尚幽默，如果能在申請(qǐng)美國(guó)大學(xué)的文書中恰當(dāng)?shù)卣宫F(xiàn)出自己的幽默感，就會(huì)給文章增色不少，從而起到很好的宣傳效果。

實(shí)例講解

下文筆者通過實(shí)例來具體說明如何在申請(qǐng)文書中運(yùn)用幽默的手法。

文書案例1

首先，我們通過申請(qǐng)者提供的短文（Essay）中的一個(gè)段落為大家進(jìn)行講解。申請(qǐng)者是高中畢業(yè)生，他提供了中文初稿，所選段落大致內(nèi)容如下：

我的高中生物考試成績(jī)不佳，老師建議我考慮改修其他科目，但我不愿放棄。老師表示不論我做什么決定他都支持，不僅如此，還在家長(zhǎng)會(huì)上安慰我的媽媽。

如果我們就按照初稿內(nèi)容直接將其譯成英文，整段內(nèi)容讀起來就會(huì)顯得比較平淡，讓人看不出申請(qǐng)者的留學(xué)文書有什么亮點(diǎn)。于是，在描寫申請(qǐng)者母親時(shí)，我們采用了幽默的表述方式（我承認(rèn)我媽媽不以耐心而聞名，要讓她安下心來可不容易），給文章增色不少。同時(shí)，這也反映出申請(qǐng)者活潑或者與眾不同的一面。要知道，絕大多數(shù)中國(guó)學(xué)生在描寫自己的父母時(shí)都喜歡把他們描寫成嚴(yán)父慈母的形象，這樣公式化的描寫顯得刻板，也缺乏人情味。參考范文如下：

I asked my biology teacher， Mr. Zhang， to allow me some time so I could prove myself. He was not only supportive of my decision to stay on but also protective of me in his interaction with my mother during the teacher-parent conference， in which he told my mother that， though I might have had less than desirable grades， he was convinced I was learning the concepts and that patience was all that was required. I give Mr. Zhang credit for having calmed down my mother， who， I have to admit， is not known for her patience.

文書案例2

下面我們?cè)偻ㄟ^一個(gè)申請(qǐng)者的個(gè)人陳述（Personal Statement）為大家進(jìn)行進(jìn)一步講解。為了保持文書的完整性，我們給出了個(gè)人陳述英文的全文，并在相關(guān)段落進(jìn)行了詳細(xì)點(diǎn)評(píng)。申請(qǐng)者提供了個(gè)人陳述的中文初稿，大致內(nèi)容如下：

我的家鄉(xiāng)在山東聊城，一個(gè)擁有高達(dá)17萬貧困人口、100萬低收入人口的城市。如何給貧窮和弱勢(shì)的群體同等幸福和有尊嚴(yán)的生活是社會(huì)面臨的最嚴(yán)峻的考驗(yàn)。我愿用自己的努力給弱勢(shì)群體平等生活的希望。我不做誰來做？

也許是從小受到爺爺教育我“以天下為己任”的影響，也許是受到熱愛從事慈善工作的媽媽的影響，幾乎每個(gè)假期我都在參加義工活動(dòng)。2008年我為汶川災(zāi)區(qū)募捐。2009年暑假，我去聊城市社會(huì)福利院做義工。我還在聊城市春雨助學(xué)協(xié)會(huì)救助貧困兒童，比如魏莊鄉(xiāng)甘寨村的高一學(xué)生小武，他的母親患有嚴(yán)重的糖尿病，喪失勞動(dòng)能力，父親在外打工，每個(gè)月寄回的600元就是母子二人一個(gè)月的生活費(fèi)。我們把5000元的助學(xué)款交到小武母親的手里，她當(dāng)即流下了眼淚。我發(fā)誓要為更多人不再愁學(xué)愁醫(yī)而努力！

據(jù)我了解，美國(guó)的社會(huì)保障項(xiàng)目有三百多種，僅各種退休計(jì)劃就有十幾種之多；社會(huì)保障覆蓋面廣。這在中國(guó)幾乎是難以想象的。相比美國(guó)專業(yè)化、體系化的社會(huì)工作服務(wù)，中國(guó)這種多數(shù)由民間自發(fā)組織的草根慈善社團(tuán)不僅數(shù)量遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)不夠，而且因?yàn)槿狈哂袑I(yè)知識(shí)的規(guī)劃者和實(shí)施者，工作無法達(dá)到預(yù)期成效，社會(huì)公信力差。社會(huì)工作者的不足將成為制約中國(guó)社會(huì)穩(wěn)定發(fā)展的一塊短板。

我愿意奉獻(xiàn)于他人和社會(huì)，換回一個(gè)有價(jià)值的人生。

申請(qǐng)者在中文初稿中寫了不少豪言壯語，如“以天下為己任”“我愿用自己的努力給弱勢(shì)群體平等生活的希望”等，盡力把自己塑造成一個(gè)憂國(guó)憂民的高大形象。但讀者看完卻會(huì)覺得這些都是口號(hào)，太虛了，甚至?xí)?duì)申請(qǐng)者個(gè)人陳述的可信度產(chǎn)生懷疑。在英文個(gè)人陳述寫作過程中，我們把這些“高大”的內(nèi)容全部刪除，取而代之的是平實(shí)的語言，并加入了適當(dāng)?shù)挠哪兀ㄔ斠娤挛牡谝?、二段點(diǎn)評(píng)）。另外需要注意的是，在描述申請(qǐng)者的“好人好事”時(shí)，文章不是單純的敘述，而是側(cè)重這些事給申請(qǐng)者帶來的思考，從而反映出他的思考能力和社會(huì)責(zé)任感。參考范文如下：

I originally came from Chinas coastal province of Shandong， which is quite well known domestically as well as internationally for Tsingtao Beer， Haier electronic appliances and Qufu， the birthplace of Confucius， often referred to as the sage or great teacher of moral principles and social responsibilities. What is often overlooked in the Judea-Christian dominated western world is that it was Confucius， a couple of centuries before the birth of Jesus Christ， who came up with the so-called golden rule： “You should not do unto others what you do not desire yourself.” People in Shandong are generally okay with the fact that many foreigners credit the Bible， not Confucius， for the adage （格言）， but they would be somewhat offended if the outside world fails to recognize that Shandong has some of the prettiest and most livable cities in China， and that the province is the economic powerhouse of China and among the most affluent Chinese provinces， with a nominal GDP well over 4 trillion yuan—about US$712 billion.

點(diǎn)評(píng)：這一段的幽默反映在兩個(gè)方面。第一，筆調(diào)輕松。申請(qǐng)者雖然表面上是在抱怨不公，但實(shí)際上是在介紹山東對(duì)世界文化和道德標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的貢獻(xiàn)。文字的可讀性要比那種憂國(guó)憂民的強(qiáng)多了。第二，自嘲。文中說山東人不會(huì)介意外國(guó)人不知道自己掛在嘴上的做人標(biāo)準(zhǔn)其實(shí)是從山東“出口”的儒家思想，卻會(huì)因虛榮心作祟介意外國(guó)人不知山東美麗富饒這一事實(shí)，這就是自嘲。

This is not the Shandong I knew intimately. The part of Shandong where I grew up， on the west side， is called Liaocheng. There， one-fifth of the population， close to a million， are categorized as either below the poverty line or low-income. And yet， for three years now， the local government has invested more than four billion yuan on a cultural preservation development project aimed to restore the central part of the city to its ancient forms. There has been no indication that the investment has benefited the local people， many of whom are desperately trying to uplift themselves out of poverty.

點(diǎn)評(píng)：第一段用輕松調(diào)侃的口吻提到山東如何美麗富饒，山東人如何為自己爭(zhēng)得了面子，而這一段筆鋒一轉(zhuǎn)談到了山東貧窮落后的一面，“我”的所見所聞和“我”的生活經(jīng)歷讓人輕松不起來。于是這和第一段形成了一個(gè)具有諷刺意義的對(duì)比（irony），而irony本身也是一種幽默。

My interest in the marginalized and underprivileged sectors of the Chinese society stemmed from my years of experience as a volunteer. It all started in May 2008， when Chinas southwestern Sichuan Province was hit by a deadly earthquake that claimed approximately 69，000 lives and left five million people homeless. Not long before the earthquake， my grandfather passed away. I knew how difficult it was personally for me to experience the loss of a loved one. As I watched TV reports of younger children in Sichuan having lost all other family members or older folks having to bury their children who perished under the rubble， I could not even begin to imagine their suffering. I told myself I should do something. In the following several weeks， I organized a fund-raiser at my high school. The event attracted many students and teachers who either gave money or school supplies or spent time with me collecting donations inside the school campus and in residential areas outside the school. When I handed our donations to the Red Cross on behalf of our school， I felt a great sense of accomplishment. I realized that as an individual， my means were limited； but as a team， as a group and as a society， our strength was boundless. I learned that leadership is all about identifying and championing a good cause， galvanizing （激勵(lì)） people and demonstrating that giving is rewarding.

I have since regularly participated in charity and volunteer work in my hometown of Liaocheng. For two years， I volunteered at local nursing homes and orphanages once a month and all through my summer breaks. I was also a member of the Spring Rain Charity that provided monetary support to school children whose families could not afford to have the kids attend school. My most memorable encounter was with Wu， a junior high school student who lived with his diabetic and bedridden mother in a poor village outside the city proper. His father was a migrant worker whose meager income， which he sent home， was not enough to provide the bare necessities， let alone buy books and pay tuition for Wu. At one point， Wu told his mom that he wanted to quit school and join his father as a migrant worker so the family could at least have two incomes. His mother was furious and told him never to enter the house anymore if he ever wanted to quit school. Such was Wus plight： he was an honor-roll student with outstanding academic performance， and yet he could not go on studying when his mother could not afford to visit the doctor. When I presented the 5，000 yuan check （about US$800） on behalf of Spring Rain Association in support of Wus schooling needs， both he and his mother started crying. When Wu said his ambition was to finish school and get gainfully employed so he could take his mother to a big city hospital for treatment， it was my turn to get teary. I was happy for Wu， but I was sad that many students like Wu right here in Liaocheng needed help： but help is not coming soon enough.

點(diǎn)評(píng)：同樣是列舉“我”的好人好事，但英文稿增加了一些“我”的其他信息，比如“我”的祖父在汶川地震之前剛過世不久，用來說明“我”對(duì)于災(zāi)區(qū)人失去親人感同身受，這種移情作用促使“我”去為災(zāi)民募捐，這無疑比中文原稿的陳述可信度要高。有關(guān)資助貧困學(xué)生一事，中文原稿說“我發(fā)誓要為更多人不再愁學(xué)愁醫(yī)而努力”，而英文稿故意放低姿態(tài)，說“many students like Wu right here in Liaocheng needed help”。言下之意，“我”個(gè)人做的非常有限，“我”該怎么辦？這反映出申請(qǐng)者是在思考問題而不是急于表功。低調(diào)和幽默一樣，代表的是一種豁達(dá)。

I studied law and economics for my undergraduate program. I know China still has a long way to go before we enact legislation to protect the interests and well-being of the economic and social underdogs. The social security system in China， as it is， does not even cover half of the population. In economics， I learned that an unemployment rate of about 4%～6% is considered healthy and that lower rates are seen as inflationary due to the upward pressures on salaries. From a social workers point of view， behind these numbers are hundreds and thousands of people who are struggling to put food on their tables， or who are forced to quit school or give up medication. They simply cannot survive if their financial， emotional， psychological， educational and medical needs are not met. In the United States， social work， as an academic discipline， a concept， a career and a cause， has a long history and wide acceptance and recognition. In Liaocheng， in Shandong， and in the Peoples Republic， social work is just beginning to emerge in the public consciousness. Much can be done and much needs to be done.

點(diǎn)評(píng)：最后一段比較巧妙地把“我”在本科法律、經(jīng)濟(jì)專業(yè)中學(xué)到的一些有關(guān)知識(shí)和將要攻讀的社工學(xué)結(jié)合起來。經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)認(rèn)為4%～6%的失業(yè)率是好事，能幫助有效抑制通貨膨脹，但一個(gè)有同情心的人會(huì)設(shè)身處地去為那些失業(yè)人群著想，對(duì)他們來說失業(yè)無異于災(zāi)難臨頭：他們的財(cái)務(wù)、心理、教育和醫(yī)療等問題怎么解決？這種換位思考的能力給“我”轉(zhuǎn)行學(xué)社工做了很好的鋪墊和解釋?！拔摇钡膭?dòng)機(jī)也很明確，比“我愿意奉獻(xiàn)于他人和社會(huì)，換回一個(gè)有價(jià)值的人生”那樣的空洞口號(hào)要來得真實(shí)和精彩。