翻滾吧！大西瓜

by Mark Patrick

A watermelon rolls by in front of me while I sit on a bench in Jonkers Park next to my wife.

“Beatrice…Beatrice， did you see that？”

Crows[烏鴉] respond to my question without hearing it.

“Didnt see anything， but the squirrels Im feeding，” she says.

Eyesight was never her strength. Five days ago， we ate a crunchy[發(fā)嘎吱嘎吱聲的] hot dish for dinner by the television as we do on Tuesday afternoons before bed， and I glanced over at Beatrice to see her lips sealed around a spoon with the handle sticking out as if she bit the end off， but before I could laugh， I got distracted[分心] by a purplestriped paper airplane flying by on the other side ofthe window pulling a banner that advertised the slogan[標(biāo)語]—reduce， reuse， recycle—which I found odd since paper airplanes are never thrown twice. Glasses rested on her nose more as a sign of her age than for function， since she turned the television down to swear three times that no shadow passed by the window.

“Hmm， Ill let you know the next time it rolls by.”

I wonder if she can see herself roll her eyes.

Joggers[慢跑者] run by when they should be jogging. Killing ants while my wife fattens the squirrels. Laziness is the only game I play.

More striped watermelons tumble[翻滾] chasing after one another.

“Never again are we sitting on a bench near a hill，” I tell her. Oranges are harmless， but watermelons can knock me over.

“Please tell me you took your medication[藥物治療] this morning？”

Questioning me for no reason is her second favorite hobby， after feeding pests.“Remember the last time you asked me that？”

She leans close to me and focuses on my narrow eyes.“Tuesday， last week.”

Unsure， I nod my head， gazing over her shoulder at a couple of large animals drinking from the pond.

“Visions again？ Why do you bother putting on your glasses when you purposely dont take your medicine？”she says.

“You know， you need to get your eyes checked. Zebras注 arent very interesting if you cant see them.”

我和妻子并肩坐在瓊克公園的長椅上，一個西瓜從我面前滾了過去。

“比阿特麗斯……比阿特麗斯，你看見了嗎？”

烏鴉沒聽見我的問題，卻嘎嘎地應(yīng)聲。

“除了我在喂的這些松鼠，我什么都沒看見，”她說。

視力一直不是她的強(qiáng)項(xiàng)。五天前，我們一邊看電視一邊享用著熱騰騰、嘎嘣脆的晚餐——每個星期二下午，我們在睡覺之前都會進(jìn)行這樣的例行公事。我瞥了比阿特麗斯一眼，看見她的雙唇緊緊嵌著勺子，勺子把兒露在外頭，簡直就像她一口把勺子給咬掉似的。不過就在我準(zhǔn)備笑話她的時候，我的注意力被另一邊窗外飛過的紙飛機(jī)給轉(zhuǎn)移了——那架紫色條紋的紙飛機(jī)還拉著一條橫幅，上面寫著一句標(biāo)語：減少浪費(fèi)，重復(fù)再用，回收環(huán)保。我覺得這句話怪怪的，因?yàn)榧堬w機(jī)總不能丟兩次吧（不符合環(huán)保）。架在比阿特麗斯鼻子上的眼鏡與其說是功能性的，不如說是年紀(jì)的象征好了，因?yàn)樗€把電視（音量）關(guān)小了，發(fā)誓說窗外連個影兒都沒有，還連說了三遍呢。

“唔，下次它再滾過去的時候，我會告訴你的。”

我不知道她有沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)，她翻了個白眼。

慢跑的人在本該慢跑的時候快步跑了過去，一邊還踩死幾只螞蟻——而我的妻子就起勁地給松鼠養(yǎng)膘。發(fā)懶是我唯一能做的事了。

又有幾個條紋西瓜滾了過去，一個接著一個。

“我們以后再也不要在山邊的長椅上休息了，”我對她說。橘子沒啥問題，但西瓜還真會將我撞倒的。

“請你務(wù)必告訴我，你今天早上吃藥沒？”

毫無道理地質(zhì)疑我是她的第二嗜好，僅次于喂養(yǎng)那些害人精?！澳氵€記得你上一次是什么時候問我這個問題的嗎？”

她湊到我面前，緊盯著我的細(xì)縫眼。“上星期二?！?/p>

我不太確定地點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭，越過她的肩膀，我看見兩只大家伙在水塘邊喝水?！坝只靡暳耍考热荒愎室獠怀运?，干嘛還要費(fèi)勁兒戴眼鏡呢？”她說道?！澳阒溃銘?yīng)該去檢查檢查視力了。如果看不見它們，斑馬也不怎么有趣嘛?！?img src="https://cimg.fx361.com/images/2018/07/08/qkimagesfkyzfkyz201312fkyz20131213-2-l.jpg"/>