輕松交友之道

by anonymous

很多人覺得交朋友很難。其實并不難！你要做的只是從自己的保護殼里走出來，并且記住，如果你愛自己，別人也會愛你。對青少年來說，交朋友的難易程度可能取決于幾個因素。當(dāng)然，你要花點時間了解一下他們是真正的朋友，還是會把你的秘密宣揚出去的人。記住，交友需謹(jǐn)慎！

1. Relax. Its all about confidence—if you are nervous or try too hard to look cool youll just act weird[怪異的]， so you wont make many friends. You will stand out as overdoing[做得過分] something. You have to act like you have had plenty of friends in the past so even the “cool” ones will want to speak to you. You have to think of good reasons for why someone would like to meet you， think of the virtues[優(yōu)點] you have. So relax， people will like you for passing a peaceful energy.

2. Make the first move. Dont be shy； it wont help you in anything. Look around for someone that seems interesting， then relax and go up to talk to them. Say hi， give them your name if they dont know your name yet， ask how they are and just meet them. If you know a bit about them， for example， the person likes crafts[手工制作]， you can talk about that. A good subject to talk about to anyone is music， because almost everybody likes music， you can ask someone what kind of music they like and start a cool conversation with them and even find some things in common[共同享有的]. Sitting shy in a corner distances[使顯得遙遠(yuǎn)] you from everyone else. Become more outgoing[開朗的]. Other topics could be movies or sports. Try not to get deep when you are first meeting somebody. Steer clear from[避開] things like politics， religion and relationship problems， to name a few.

3. Be nice. How do you expect them to like you if you are not nice？ Put a calm smile on your face and find out what you and the person you are trying to befriend have in common. Youll be able to be more comfortable if you find out that other person has many things in common with you.

4. Be a good listener. Give attention to what they say， make eye contact[接觸] and show youre paying attention. Nod， agree， show you find what they say is interesting. Its important to be a good listener， because everyone likes to be heard， and if this person feels like youre listening to them， your new friend will enjoy your company[陪伴] more.

5. Be yourself. I know youve heard it a lot of times， but no one really likes a poseur[裝腔作勢的人]—people would like the real you better for your virtues， not a fake person no one really knows. For example， if you really lived the “thug[暴徒] life”and had it tough， you can easily be a gangsta[歹徒]. But if you are just trying to act a certain way or to be tougher than you really are， you should give it up. So just be you， speak your mind， that way people will enjoy being around you a lot more and feel comfortable that youre not trying to deceive[欺騙] them. Be yourself and you will get people that like you for you. If they dont like you for being yourself， then it is time to move on to someone else. Be natural， be the way that you were born to be. You were put on Earth for some purpose and to show it off.

6. Develop friendships. You may talk to someone now but soon theyll forget you if you stop. Youd better take the time to say hi to them every day and ask how they are doing. Say their name as often as you can， like once every three-five sentences， unless you know itd seem awkward[笨拙的]. When you greet them， say things like， “Hey Alex！”， “What you doing， Sarah？”， “Whats up， Miranda？” If you do that every day， theyll be happy that you care about them and remembered them， so they wont forget you.

7. Include those friends in your social life. Invite your new friends to go out together with you， go to the mall or hang out at a cool place. You guys should have fun together， so you can introduce your new friends to old friends and build your social circle from there， with people that accept each other.

1. 放松。關(guān)鍵在于信心——如果你很緊張，或是過分努力讓自己看起來很酷，那只會令你的行為顯得怪異，從而難以交到很多朋友。當(dāng)你過度地做某件事情，你會顯得格格不入。你必須表現(xiàn)得好像你以前已經(jīng)有很多朋友那樣去行動，這樣，即便是那些很“酷”的人也會想和你說話。你要想到別人有哪些很好的理由想要去認(rèn)識你，以及想想自己身上具備的優(yōu)點。所以，放松點吧，人們會因為你身上平和寧靜的氣息而喜歡你的。

2. 主動邁出第一步。不要害羞；害羞對你沒有任何幫助?？纯粗車?，找些能引起你興趣的人，然后放松，走上前與他們交談。說一聲“嗨”；如果他們還不知道你的名字，就把你的名字告訴他們；問問他們的近況，和他們見面吧。假如你對他們已有一些了解，比如你知道對方喜歡工藝品，你就可以聊聊這個話題。音樂是適合與任何人聊天的好話題，因為幾乎每個人都喜歡音樂。你可以問問對方喜歡什么樣的音樂，由此開始一段很酷的交談，甚至還可能由此找到一些共同點呢。如果你只是羞怯地坐在角落，那只會把你和大家隔絕開來。讓自己開朗外向一點。至于其他話題，你們也可以聊聊電影或者體育。和初次見面的人盡量不要聊得太深入。要避開諸如政治、宗教和感情關(guān)系等話題。

3. 態(tài)度親切友善。如果你的態(tài)度不友善，你又怎能期望別人會喜歡你呢？讓你的臉上露出平靜的微笑，試著找出你和你想要結(jié)交的對象有何共同點。當(dāng)你發(fā)現(xiàn)對方與你有許多共同點時，你們相處起來會舒服一些。

4. 做一個善于聆聽的人。關(guān)注對方所說的話，注意眼神接觸，表現(xiàn)出你正在認(rèn)真聆聽。不時點頭同意，表明你對他們所說的東西很感興趣。做一個好的傾聽者很重要，因為每個人都希望有人傾聽自己。如果對方覺得你在聽他訴說，你的這位新朋友便會更加樂于與你為伴。

5. 做真實的自己。我知道你已經(jīng)聽過無數(shù)次了，但沒有人會喜歡裝腔作勢的人——人們會因為你的優(yōu)點而更加喜歡真實的你，而不是那個無人真正了解的假象。假如你確實過著“暴徒生涯”，平時都是飛揚跋扈，那么你當(dāng)一個黑幫成員會得心應(yīng)手。但如果你只是想裝成某種樣子，或是假裝比實際上強硬，那么你還是放棄吧。因此，做真實的自己吧，坦率地說出自己的想法，這樣人們會更喜歡和你待在一起，為你不會欺騙他們而感到舒服自在。做真實的自己，人們會因此而喜歡你的。如果他們不喜歡真實的你，你就應(yīng)該繼續(xù)尋找其他朋友了。你只要自然流露，展現(xiàn)真我。你之所以來到地球上，總有某個原因的，向人們展示出來吧。

6. 發(fā)展友誼。你現(xiàn)在也許正在和別人交談，但一旦你停止，他們很快就會把你忘記。最好每天都抽點時間和他們打個招呼，問問他們的近況。盡可能多地提到他們的名字，每說三、五句話就提一次他們的名字——除非你覺得那樣做會很奇怪。如果你每天都和他們打招呼，說：“嗨，亞歷克斯！”“莎拉，你在干嘛？”“米蘭達，最近怎么樣？”他們會因為你關(guān)心和記得他們而感到高興，也就不會忘記你了。

7. 讓新朋友參與你的社交生活。邀請你的新朋友和你一起出去，一起去逛商場或是去某個不錯的地方。大家在一起肯定會很開心，所以你可以介紹新朋友和你的老朋友認(rèn)識，從這里開始，通過一些能夠接受彼此的人，建立起你的社交圈。