“狗眼”看圣誕

Let me introduce myself. I'm Oreo， a two-and-a-half-year-old Portuguese water dog currently lodging1) with a human family of three.

The family consists of a dad， Dave; a mom， Cheryl; and a 12-year-old daughter named Sarah. For the most part2)， they're a pleasant bunch， and I generally have few complaints regarding my room and board. Except when it comes to this time of year. For some reason， the month of December causes my caretakers to go a little crazy.

Early in the month， they erect a tree in the living room. Two years ago， they brought in a real tree and stuck it in a pail3) by the front window. Dave spent a good4) hour or two grumbling5) under his breath6) and jamming7) bricks and pieces of wood into the pail to keep the tree upright.

At first I thought the tree was for my benefit8). I figured they were providing a place for me to mark my territory9) so I didn't have to venture outside in the cold. I appreciated the gesture10) although the appreciation was not reciprocated11).

In fact， the following Christmas， the tree wasn't dragged in from outside. Rather， it was taken out of a box in pieces and slowly constructed from bottom to top. Again， I figured this new tree was for my benefit.

But it turns out this new \"tree\" is no tree at all. I've sniffed12) and sniffed and sniffed， and as far as I can make out13)， the thing's made of plastic. Apparently it's there for the family's benefit， although I'm still unclear as to14) its function.

As the month progresses， the family members add boxes wrapped in colorful paper under the tree. Sarah and Cheryl seem to take delight in15) this ongoing custom. Dave， on the other hand， keeps muttering something that sounds like a sheep saying \"humbug16).\"

Actually， putting the wrapped boxes under the tree throughout the month doesn't happen anymore. I'm not sure exactly why although it might have something to do with my pleasant discovery of cookies in one of those boxes two years ago.

Now they don't put the boxes under the tree until sometime during the last week of the month. One day there's nothing under the tree， and the next morning the floor's overflowing with junk.

I'm not sure what all this activity symbolizes. It doesn't happen any other time of the year， just December. And I'm still unclear as to why these humans go through the exercise17) at all. Sarah seems to get a kick out of it18)， but it definitely tires Cheryl out19). And Dave isn't fit to talk to until at least January.

The day before all the boxes go under the tree， other humans move into the house for a couple of days. And—wouldn't you know it?—they bring a bunch of paper-wrapped boxes， too.

The day of the boxes under the tree is the craziest thing I've ever seen. Everybody gets up early and even more people show up20) at the door with—you guessed it21)—more boxes! And all this stuff ends up under the tree.

What happens next is really quite silly， if you ask me. They spend an hour or so passing the boxes to each other and tearing all the paper off.

I've never pretended that I understand humans. But after two and a half years of living with them， I thought that I had pretty much figured out their routine. Yet this end-of-December madness makes no sense to me.

It all wouldn't be so bad except for what happens next. After the paper-destroying exercise， Dave and Cheryl put a huge， delicious-looking turkey in the oven， where it stays， cooking all day. It doesn't seem to bother them at all， but， as I'm sure you can understand， it's pure torture for me.

With all this madness going on， I'm fortunate if I even get fed and walked. I think I agree with Dave; I could probably do without this annual free-for-all22). But every year there's a little box under the tree with my name on it， and what's inside usually tastes pretty good. So maybe this thing called Christmas isn't so bad after all.

讓我介紹一下自己吧。我叫奧雷奧，今年兩歲半，我是一只葡萄牙水犬，現(xiàn)在和一個人類三口之家住在一起。

這個家庭有三口人，爸爸戴夫，媽媽謝里爾，還有一個12歲的女兒薩拉?？偟膩碚f，他們是一個快樂的家庭，而我對于我的房間和伙食一般也沒什么怨言。但也有例外，那就是每年這個時節(jié)到來之時。不知道怎么回事，12月總是讓我的主人們變得有點瘋狂。

早在這個月初，他們就在客廳里豎起一棵樹。兩年前，他們弄了棵真的樹進(jìn)來，并把它插在前窗旁的一個桶里。然后，戴夫花了至少一兩個小時一邊小聲嘟嘟囔囔地抱怨，一邊把一些磚塊和碎木屑填塞到桶里，好讓那棵樹立起來。

起初，我還在想那棵樹是為我準(zhǔn)備的。我以為他們是提供一個地方讓我標(biāo)記我的領(lǐng)地，這樣我就不用鋌而走險到寒冷的屋外去了。我很感激他們的這份好意，不過我的感激可沒有得到回報。

事實上，第二年圣誕節(jié)的時候，那棵樹并不是他們從外面拖進(jìn)來的，而是他們從一個盒子里，分好幾塊取出來，然后慢慢地從下到上組裝起來的。我又一次以為這棵新樹是為我準(zhǔn)備的。

但是我發(fā)現(xiàn)，這棵新“樹”根本就不是樹。我左嗅右嗅，上嗅下嗅，根據(jù)我的判斷，這個東西是塑料做的。盡管我至今還搞不清楚它到底是干什么用的，但很顯然，它擺在那兒，是為這家人準(zhǔn)備的。

隨著12月一天天過去，家里的每個人不斷地在那棵“樹”下擺上一些用彩紙包裝的盒子。薩拉和謝里爾似乎樂此不疲，但是戴夫卻總是不停地在嘟囔些什么，聽起來就像一只綿羊在叨叨“瞎胡鬧”一樣。

但事實上，像這樣一整個月里不斷地把包裝好的盒子擺在那棵樹下的事情并沒有再發(fā)生。我不清楚確切的原因，雖然這可能和我兩年前非常開心地在其中的一個盒子里找到了餅干有關(guān)系。

現(xiàn)在，他們直到這個月最后一個星期的某一天才把盒子擺到那棵樹下。前一天，那棵樹下面還什么都沒有，可第二天早上地板上就滿是垃圾了。

我不明白所有這一切活動象征著什么。這些事在一年中的其他任何時候都不會發(fā)生，只有在12月才會。我仍然不清楚這些人究竟為什么要搞這些儀式。薩拉似乎樂在其中，但是這卻絕對把謝里爾給累壞了。至于戴夫，至少在1月份以前你最好都不要和他說話。

在全部盒子擺到那棵樹下的前一天，還會有一些其他人到家里來住上幾天。而且——你還能不知道嗎?—他們也帶來了一堆用紙包裝好的盒子。

這些盒子擺到那棵樹下的那天是我所見到過最瘋狂的一天。每個人都一大早就起床，然后又有更多的人來登門拜訪，他們都帶著——你猜對了——更多的盒子!所有這些東西最后都被堆在那棵樹下。

要是你問我的話，那我覺得接下來的事真是太無聊了。他們花了大約一個小時左右的時間互相傳遞盒子，然后把包裝紙都撕掉。

我從來都沒有裝得像我了解人類一樣。但是自從和他們一起生活了兩年半之后，我覺得我對他們的那些習(xí)慣已經(jīng)能猜個八九不離十了?？伤麄冞@12月底的瘋狂卻始終讓我摸不著頭腦。

要不是接下來發(fā)生的事情，情況還不至于那么糟糕。在“破壞包裝紙”儀式之后，戴夫和謝里爾將一只超大的、看起來非常美味的火雞放進(jìn)了烤爐，然后這只火雞就待在那兒烤一整天。這事兒好像對他們一點兒影響也沒有，但是，我相信你一定能理解，這對我純粹就是一種折磨。

在所有這一切瘋狂活動進(jìn)行的時候，要是還能有人給我喂食，帶我出去遛遛，我可就幸運了。我覺得我贊同戴夫的看法;要是沒有這每年一度的混戰(zhàn)，我可能也過得下去。不過，每年在那棵樹下都會有個寫了我名字的小盒子，那里面的東西通常味道還是相當(dāng)不錯的。這樣看來，可能這個叫圣誕節(jié)的東西終究也不算太差。

Vocabulary

1.lodge [lCdV] vi. 暫住;借宿，投宿

2.for the most part: 多半;通常;在極大程度上

3.pail [peIl] n. 桶，提桶

4.good [^Jd] adj. 相當(dāng)大(或多)的，相當(dāng)可觀的;十足的;至少的

5.grumble [5^rQmbl] vi. 抱怨;發(fā)牢騷;挑剔

6.under one's breath: 壓著嗓子，低聲地

7.jam [dVAm] vt. 把……塞滿，把……塞入;使擠緊，使擠滿

8.for one's benefit: 為了某人的利益;為了給某人看(或聽、讀)

9.mark territory: (狗、狼等動物用尿液)標(biāo)志自己的領(lǐng)地;狗和其他動物(如貓科動物、鳥類和嚙齒類動物)一樣，都有領(lǐng)地感。它會以自己為中心，沿著自己平時行走的路線固定一些點，用自己的氣味標(biāo)出地界，并經(jīng)常更新。如公犬外出散步時，總是喜歡往固定的一些樹干、路燈下或角落里撒少量尿。

10.gesture [5dVestFE(r)] n. 姿態(tài)，表示

11.reciprocate [rI5sIprEkeIt] vt. 回報，報答;酬答

12.sniff [snIf] vi. (吸著氣)嗅，聞

13.make out: (勉強(qiáng)地)看出;辨認(rèn)出;聽出

14.as to: 關(guān)于，至于

15.take delight in: 以……為樂

16.humbug [5hQmbQ^] n. 騙人的話，鬼話，胡說八道

17.exercise [5eksEsaIz] n. (包括傳道、禱告等的)宗教儀式

18.get a kick out of sth.: 做某事得到樂趣、刺激、快感

19.tire sb. out: 使某人十分疲勞，使某人徹底累垮

20.show up: <口> 來到，出席;露面

21.you guessed it: <口>你猜對了

22.free-for-all: 在場者都參加的爭吵;混戰(zhàn)